Realization
by mai xun
Summary: Fluffy Sydrian One-Shot: Sydney has been losing sleep over the way she left things with Adrian that night in his apartment. Desperately trying to come to terms with her feelings towards the alchemists and Adrian, she decides to pay him a visit.


_**A/N: Unfortunately I do not own VA/BL or any of the characters. I only hope that you read my story, enjoy it and remember to review.**_

Lately Adrian had been one of the only things on her mind.

After their last proper conversation, which had ended in a fight, she had been thinking about him even more than usual but she wasn't going to admit it to herself. Whenever his green, green eyes appeared in her mind she would quickly shake away the images and remind herself of what she was.

Sydney was an alchemist. She was there to work with vampires and keep their existence hidden from humans as well as protect the humans from them. They were evil creatures of the night. Her loyalty was to the humans and alchemists. Not the vampires. That's what she kept telling herself.

A lot of the time it worked and sidetracked her momentarily; it reminded her of her duty. She was meant to tolerate the vampires but never become friends with them. She knew she couldn't undo the damage that had already been done but maybe if she distanced herself from the Moroi it wouldn't get any worse. So that's exactly what she had been doing; becoming distant.

There had been so many times where Sydney had been tempted to email or text or call Adrian whenever she just wanted to talk to someone but just as she was about the send the email/text or hit the call button she would quickly snap back to reality and scold herself; reminding herself of what her real duty was.

Sydney often wished she never got so friendly with Adrian in the first place. He had never been part of the task and was only in Palm Springs because he was spirit bound to Jill. They slowly grew closer and inevitably, but unbeknownst to the alchemist girl, the young adult Moroi had fallen head over heels for her. After finding this out she had told herself time and time again that she shared none of those feelings; that she had no reason to regret, and most certainly did not regret that she had chosen her job as an alchemist over being with Adrian. But if that's what she was so sure was right then why was there something inside her telling her otherwise?

A lot of the time, especially when she would be lying in bed at night trying to get to sleep but was still too buzzed from the cups of coffee that she had consumed just hours before, she would think of Adrian and all the times they had spent together. Her fondest memory was when he had said to her _'You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen walking this Earth'_. Even as Sydney tossed and turned in her sheets at night she would desperately replay the words that were spoken from the Moroi's lips. Even simply recalling the memory would send her heart frantically thumping in her chest.

His lips. How could she forget the nonsensical feeling of his warm and comforting lips moving passionately and urgently against her own? It was this very sensation that for once had made her completely loose all thought. It was as though they were the only two people in the world and in that moment all that mattered was that they felt something for each other and that they were moving together; connected as one.

It was the repeating of these very memories that had Sydney unable to sleep on a Saturday night. Normally they would only distract her momentarily but this time it was different; it was almost like there was something compelling her to Adrian. She realized it had been a good month since they had last spoken and she couldn't fight the feeling anymore. While she may first and foremost be an alchemist she knew that she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight with these thoughts lingering in her mind. She knew what she wanted but knew she couldn't have it. To be an alchemist and to stay true to her duty and job was what she knew she was meant to do but being with Adrian right now was what she _wanted _to do. With all logical thought leaving her mind, she picked up her mobile and dialled Adrian's number.

"Sage?" His voice was on the other end of the line and Sydney's heart skipped a beat when she heard it, not previously realizing how much she had missed it.

"Adrian, can I come over? I want to talk to you" She sighed after a few seconds silence while she gathered herself and thought of what to say.

"Sure" Adrian said simply, although he didn't sound too thrilled about it. In fact, he sounded almost afraid or cautious. Quickly Sydney slipped on some decent clothes and rushed down to Latte, not bothering to explain to Mrs. Weathers where she was going. Lately the older lady had been more lax with Sydney when it came to the curfew because she was used to seeing her having to run errands for her History teacher in the dead of night.

After what felt like hours the alchemist had arrived at the Moroi's apartment; slamming the car into park and getting out. Before she set off to the door of Adrian's place she stopped and thought for a moment. She'd already gotten this far but she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to do this. She'd never professed her feelings before and at the moment she was still desperately telling herself that there were no feelings to profess; but if that were the case why had she gotten up and dressed at 2:52am to come see a boy that she hadn't talked to for a month?

Slowly she made her way to the door and knocked on it quietly, almost hoping and praying that he wouldn't hear her knock and she'd have an excuse to back out and leave. Almost instantly the door swung open and Adrian stood there, looking the most reserved she had ever seen him. He stepped out of the way and let her walk inside and take a seat on the couch. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes but tension was rising so quickly and thickly that even the sharpest knife wouldn't have been able to cut through it.

"Why did you come here, Sydney?" Adrian asked finally. He was leaning on the kitchen counter behind her but she could hear his voice as loudly and clearly as if he was sitting right beside her. He sounded cold and distant but it also sounded like there may have been a hint of hope in his words.

Sydney thought long and hard before answering the question. When she had left the dormitory she had been positive with her motive of coming. She needed to see Adrian and hear him and feel his presence, but there was also a battle raging on inside of her. Her brain was telling her that she didn't have feelings for this boy; that there was no way she could possibly have feelings for a creature that she had been taught and trained to fear and be disgusted by.

She stood up from the couch and turned around nervously; looking at Adrian. For a split second she met his eyes and could have sworn that right there and then she had completely melted. They were too green to be real; the creature standing in front of her right at this moment was too beautiful to be real and definitely too beautiful to have any feelings for her but somehow he did.

Suddenly the civil war inside of Sydney had ended with no resistance. How could she deny her feelings any longer? She had tried and tried and for a while she almost convinced herself that she didn't feel a thing for Adrian Ivashkov, but she was wrong.

"I choose you" She said finally. Her voice was weak and she never once dared to meet his eyes. It was bold of her to say this after all the heartache she had caused the boy; it was, in fact, almost selfish, but it had taken her a month to finally come to the realisation that while her loyalty was with the alchemists and she respected them dearly she knew that she also had to be loyal to herself.

"What?" Was all that Adrian could muster. He was confused and obviously had not expected Sydney to say such a thing but he moved forward until he was standing face to face with her. The look in his eyes was still reserved, still guarded, but he was eager to understand what her intentions of coming here were.

"A month ago. That night in your apartment. I said I didn't choose you and I can't believe how wrong I was. I know it's probably too little too late and that ship has sailed but lately I've been thinking and it's all been about you. I can't get you out of my mind and I kept telling myself that it was nothing; that you are nothing to me but I was lying to myself. Being an alchemist is my first and foremost duty but how can I be focused on my work when you're all that's on my mind? I've realized that my loyalty is not just to the alchemist but to myself. They had me believe that all vampires are evil creatures of the night and that humans were good; that they were the light. I've come to understand for myself what really is good and evil. You, Adrian Ivashkov, are not evil" Sydney said quickly as she flushed deeply. Taking a deep breath, she looked back up at him and once again met his emerald eyes. "And I think I love you"

Sydney didn't need to say it twice because as soon as the words were spoken all the walls that Adrian had put up had been knocked down. Gently grabbing her by the waist with one hand and caressing her tattooed cheek with the other, he tilted his head down and pressed his lips to hers; kissing her so magnificently it rivalled their first. Just as she had done before, Sydney lost all ability to think and was consumed by the kiss. Her fingers intertwined at the back of his neck and when it was over she was reluctant to pull away.

Looking down at her with dreamy eyes he spoke words that made her heart stop, her cheeks redden and a smile grace her lips.

"Sydney Katherine Sage, I think I love you too"


End file.
